Anyhoo, the dialogue about being homemakers grew into a debate. A less than healthy debate for the body of Christ, at that. I made the decision to stay out of the debate while it was heated, but I firmly believe that continuing the discussion is not only important but necessary. I ran across the Salon.com article that I posted yesterday and an article in USA Today, and they had me thinking…

What if we were all homemakers?

Seriously, what would that look like? Women dominate important sectors of our workforce. Healthcare, education, social services, and the service industry, to name a few. Imagine if all women, or even all Christian women, decided to abandon their careers for homemaking. Now imagine the severe underemployment in jobs we depend on: nurses, home care workers, adoption workers, foster care workers, mental health professionals, teachers, dental hygienists, restaurant servers, office managers, sales clerks and cashiers – the list goes on and on. I can’t imagine it.

Before anyone makes an assumption that men would fill these important roles, let me share an example with you. I worked for several years in social services as a child and family mental health counselor. Several years were with a Christian private non-profit agency. I worked along side amazing women dedicated to children’s services. Foster care workers, adoption specialists, protective services workers, child sexual abuse specialists, therapists, and case workers. These were all amazing, highly skilled women – and yes, they were almost all women. Women dominate this field not only because they are more nurturing and naturally drawn to this type of work, but also because the average pay for these types of professions is desperately low. So low (US pay range for a Master’s level Social Worker is is $29, 000 to $40,000) that it is difficult to attract men into these fields.

So, if men wouldn’t fill the need due to a combination of job interest and compensation, and if all women believed that God required them to be at home, I think we’d be missing some very, very important and much needed professional, career women. And I can’t imagine that not having women serving in these roles would be God’s will, either. These are demanding, difficult jobs, and we need not only women in them, but Christian women. Where would we be without Christian adoption agencies or Christian counseling services?

You may say this is taking the argument to the extreme, and I suppose it is. But saying something is “God’s will” for a whole class of people makes it more or less extreme. You can’t pick and choose: either it’s God’s will or it isn’t. The minute you start making exceptions and designating situations where it’s OK for some women to work sometimes in some circumstances, you’ve crossed the line into legalism – you’re making your own rules. It would be a long stretch to pull anything out of scripture to justify a woman teaching junior high but not, say, managing a restaurant.

I have two questions for you, and the first one is just to satisfy my curiosity and get to know you better :)

What do you do for a living, and is your job one that is typically held by people of your gender?

What do you think the workforce would look like if all women decided to be homemakers?

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Some don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Right…

So, this was taught in schools and set as the expectation for girls as they matured and became wives. Clearly, many of us aren’t making the grade these days, and I would argue that this was a totally unrealistic expectation even in the 50′s (and I haven’t even seen Revolutionary Road yet). But it begs the question, what are our expectations of women/wives now? Are they realistic?

Despite the utter insanity woven into this passage, I find it interesting that the stated goal is so simple: “Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.” As Christian wives, helpmates if you will, that is in part what we are called to do. Harldy an absurd request.

What makes a Christian woman a good wife circa 2010?