This brings up lots of questions for me… Do you pray before meals? Do you do it all the time, including in restaurants, or only when it feels right? Do you pray before all meals and snacks or only some? Why do you (or don’t you) say grace? Is Talladega Nights as stupid as it looks?

I’ll be honest, we have never been big on saying grace as a family. I’m not really sure why. I guess it has always felt a little stiff and scripted to me. I suppose we should do it more.

How about you, do you pray before meals?

I saw this photo on the Children’s HopeChest Facebook page, and it changed something inside of me. I emailed a friend at the HopeChest office to find out what this photo was all about, and I learned that this is a glimpse into the everyday lives of these 5-year-old boys and girls.

This is their classroom.

170 kindergarteners in one sweltering room with one teacher and no books. All they have is a deep desire for more. More food, more education, more hope. 170 of them. Together.

I love this quote from Tom Davis’s book Fields of the Fatherless:

To look into the face of a suffering child is to see the depth of humanity and the heart of God.

This is the kind of thing that keeps me up at night. It’s the kind of thing that makes me wish I had a magic wand that would instantly feed 170 bellies, produce 170 text books or shoes or clean clothes, and make 170 tiny hopes and dreams come true. I wish I had a magic wand that would instantly make the world a better place.

But I don’t. So I pray.

Tonight I pray for the fatherless.

If you could only do one thing to make the world a better place what would that one thing be?

I’m out of town this week for work and next week for fun so my blogging time is on the light side. I thought I’d pull this one out of the archives…

I’m sarcastic. Very sarcastic. Now, I prefer to think of it as quick witted but at the end of the day you still need to call a spade a spade. So, while other people would read through John 1 and 2 and want to write deep reflections on omnipotency or divine power I am choosing to write about the calling of Nathanael. Why? Because it is proof that even snarky people like me can be called by Christ.

43The next day Jesus decided to leave Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.” 44Phillip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. 45Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one who Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote – Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” 46″Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked. “Come and see,” said Philip. John 1:43-46

I love the tone of this passage probably because I can remember being a new believer and the excitement that I felt when I shared what I had found with others. I imagine Philip running up to Nathanael voice raised, full of energy, and talking a mile a minute. And what he gets is a less than enthusiastic response from a very unmoved, skeptical friend. Yeah, that would be me. I have been known to make snap judgements and I have judged several books by their covers. In fact, like Nathanael, I had made judgements about Jesus long before I decided to follow him. And as I have admitted many times on this blog, I still question God’s calling in my life even when his voice is loud and clear. You want me to do what? You want me to go where? Nothing good can come from that Jesus!

Here is what I learned from this passage: Even when I think that Jesus’ claims or direction are ridiculous or at best far fetched, I need to follow him. I need to trust his calling. Even though Nathanael was sarcastic and dismissive with his friend (a nazarene, ha!) he went to pursue him anyway. Nathanael obviously had very little faith in Philip’s claim that Jesus was the one Moses wrote about. But he did have enough faith to get up and go. Yeah, that’s me too. Sometimes, that’s all the faith I have. Just enough to get up from my chair (or out from under my fig tree) and see what he has for me. I think it measures about a tenth of a mustard seed.

And here is why (or one of the million reasons why) I desperately love my God. Even with my sometimes lazy, lack luster faith Jesus is available to me and is there when I decide to show up. In verse 47 he calls Nathanael “a true Israelite”, a son of Abraham, the benefactor of his great inheritance. And more than that he blesses him. In verse 51 Nathanael is told he will “see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” And he blesses me too. Despite my sometimes snarky attitude I have been witness to the miracles of God and my life has been a living testimony of his glory.

And that my friends, is what I call grace.

This has been on my mind, and my heart, ALL day:

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:12,13

I got the news today that a co-worker is at the end of her struggle with cancer. This isn’t someone that I knew very well but I feel deeply for her family, especially her young daughters. Despite the long battle, it’s time for her to go home. Anyway, as I processed all this it got me thinking about these verses and what it would feel like to be in my last days, face to face with the reality and presence of God.

I have had so many ups and downs in this life. Countless victories and defeats. Sometimes I have felt as if I was in a house of mirrors where my reflection (or my view) is completely distorted by my circumstances. I would imagine that when I’m at the end, when I approach that point of nearly total completeness, I will look at my life and know. Fully know.

All of the hurts in our marriage, all of the silly fights with my kids, all of the times I took offense to a friend, and every second that I was focused on myself will no longer matter. I’ll see clearly and I’ll know (I mean really know), just as I am known.

So, as I studied this passage today I decided to turn to The Message where verse 13 is translated like this:

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Love extravagantly. That’s my prayer today.

What are your thoughts about 1 Corinthians 13:12,13?

One of the speakers on the XXXChurch team ended his own life yesterday, and I don’t know how to handle it. His name is Steve Glisan. You can watch his story by clicking here [below]. You can read some of his blogs he wrote on the XXXchurch site here. He is survived by his wife Ann and his three children. I fly to Colorado Springs on Friday and will be able to say a few things at the funeral on Saturday. Donny, Michelle and myself will be in the springs and hope to be an encouragement to the family and friends this weekend. Please keep the family in your prayers.

Steve’s death is such a tragedy and it has impacted our entire XXXChurch ministry team. Please join me in praying for Craig tonight as he prepares his message for tomorrow’s funeral.

I’ve included a video from the XXXChurch site that features Steve and his wife discussing their struggle with sexual addiction. This video has ministered to many, many couples and has certainly touched me.

Steve leaves behind a glorious testimony in his wife, Ann. Please keep her and their children in your prayers.

Dear Sponsor,

As a faithful sponsor, I want to update you about the unfolding situation in Haiti and ask for your prayers.

Haiti is devastated in the aftermath of a 7.0 earthquake that struck last Tuesday. Over three million Haitians are in dire need – thousands have lost their homes, many have lost loved ones. The massive quake left the area in ruins with hundreds of collapsed homes, schools, hospitals and churches.
World Vision had prepositioned emergency supplies in place so that staff members were able to distribute within hours of the quake to survivors and hospitals in desperate need. World Vision now has more than 800 Haitian staff as well as a dozen international disaster response experts responding throughout affected areas.

World Vision also is rushing 18 metric tons of basic relief supplies to the quake zone. We are focusing on distributions for families, especially food, clean water, and emergency medical care. World Vision has worked in Haiti for 30 years but the country’s infrastructure has been devastated, and the magnitude of this catastrophe is enormous.

If you’ve already given a gift, thank you. We are deeply grateful for the generosity of our donors. This will certainly be a marathon. Our commitment to Haiti extends beyond our immediate response to this disaster. Please continue to run this race beside us. Your gift today multiplies 3x in impact to help Haiti. 18-month old Navensky Charles suffered a broken shoulder, leg and arm before being rescued from his collapsing home.

Thanks to US government grants, your gift today will multiply 3x in impact to provide the people of Haiti with food, clean water and shelter as well as helping rebuild for the future. As of this writing, we are thankful to report that all World Vision sponsored children in Haiti are safe. The epicenter of the quake primarily affected the capital city of Port-au-Prince. World Vision sponsorship communities are located outside the city; therefore, our sponsored children seem to have been spared. We are thankful to God for that good news. However, we will continue to monitor the situation since aftershocks continue to strike the region.

Please join us in prayer as we continue to lift up the children, families, and communities who have been affected by this disaster. Together, we can be the hands and feet of Christ, bringing hope and healing.

In Him,

Rich Stearns
President, World Vision U.S.
“And let us run with endurance the race that God set before us … by keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.” Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV)

If you are interested in supporting World Vision’s efforts in Haiti I also suggest visiting my friend Charles Lee’s website today. He has posted information about the Love Haiti Challenge, a $10,000 matching grant through his organization and World Vision. You can find his article HERE.

Also, all next week my friend, Matthew Paul Turner, will be blogging from Uganda where he is traveling with the World Vision team. Follow him via Twitter and his blog, Jesus Needs New PR for updates on World Vision’s efforts in Uganda and updates on their work in Haiti.

This is Daniel

Daniel is the adorable 10-year-old that we sponsor from Mexico through World Vision. Even though we have never met him, we love him. I love hearing about him, praying for him, and receiving beatuiful art work from him like what we received today (aren’t his flowers cute!).

I know that Daniel has 3 siblings, that his favorite subject is Spanish Grammar, that his favorite sport is football, and that he enjoys spending time with family and friends. I feel privileged that he shares his life with me. If you sponsor a child, I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. Hearing from a sponsored child is the highlight of your day. I’m excited each time we are able to learn more about our little Daniel. If you share that feeling about your sponsored child and want to learn more about him or her, or if you don’t sponsor a child but have wondered what sponsorship is all about, please follow my friend Matthew Paul Turner’s blog, JesusNeedsNewPR next week.

This Thursday Matthew is traveling to Uganda with World Vision and will be blogging about his trip starting this Sunday, Janurary 17th. Even though my Daniel lives in Mexico, I will be reading all of Matthew’s posts to learn more about how World Vision is supporting children all over the world, children like my Daniel.

Matthew is a dear friend and World Vision is one of my favorite organizations. If you follow Matthew or are interested in World Vision, would you consider joining me in supporting them? Here are four simple ways you can help:

• PRAY – Please join me in praying for Matthew, his travels, the people he meets, and his family at home.
• Follow Matthew’s blog next week and share the posts you like on Twitter, FaceBook, or email.
• Add a badge to your blog like the one you see on the right. You can get yours HERE.
• Make his trip a personal experience for you and your family by sponsoring Beatrice or another Ugandan child.

Name: Beatrice
Gender: Girl
Birthdate: Dec 09, 2002
Location: Uganda
Chores: Carries Water
Favorite School Subject: Writing
Favorite Playtime Subject: Dolls
Monthly Sponsorship Amount: $35

If you’re praying for this trip leave a note in the comments for me. I love seeing people agree in prayer with me :)

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold.

I’ve been meditating on this one for days. Usually when I get suck on a verse I hang with it for a few days and something will click in my head, a cool application or a word of encouragement. This time I’m left with more questions than answers. I have more raw emotions than calmed fears. So, rather than writing a reflective post I’d like to leave you all a prayer request.

As many of you know, my husband and I have been struggling with his addiction issues for many years. God has been faithful through out all of our struggles and in recent years has really been pressing on me to share my story with other couples. Now, this is it’s own miracle. When we were in the midst of active addiction I never, ever wanted anyone to know the details of our struggle. They are too painful, too shameful, and honestly in most cases they are too shocking. I knew that God wanted me to share the work that he has done in us with other women who have been in my place and with a grateful heart I have been used to do that. The opportunities to share my story with other women both face to face and though my writing for XXXChurch and Every Man’s Battle have been humbling and healing at the same time. I’m thankful that God has been giving me opportunities to share and I have been honored to hear the stories of other women who are struggling with the sin of addiction in their homes.

That said, up to this point sharing my story has been rather painless. For the most part it has been communicated in writing through the anonymity of the internet. In recent weeks I have felt God pushing me to share more. To use my voice and my face to really start connecting with the women who need to hear my story – the entire story- not just the bits and pieces that I have been willing to share here.

So for weeks I have been praying that God would open doors to start speaking to people (I don’t know who, how, or where) if that is his will for me. I’ve been half hoping that it wasn’t his will but, as it turns out a few really interesting, exciting projects have been presented to me in ways that scream “THIS IS A GOD THING!” These are future projects that I may be able to participate in and they are a bit intimidating. Am I ready to say it all out loud? Am I ready to have others I know (family and friends) hear all the details of our experience and relive the pain? Am I strong enough to proclaim that God is full of grace and redemption even when I still have days that are full of fear and trembling? Here’s the bottom line – I have been given proof of a great and mighty hope. A hope that has been a faithful, calming presence through all of the storms. A hope that only can come from a savior who is alive and active in the pit of my life. Can I be bold enough to claim it and share that hope with others? I think I can.

Would you please pray for me?

• Pray that I would be given clear direction and a spirit of discernment as these opportunities unfold.
• Pray that I would have the supports that I need to pursue this public path.
• Pray that I would have respect for my husband and his privacy as I share details of his past. That I would submit to his desires and only share as he is comfortable.
• Pray that as these opportunities and projects continue to come my way the enemy will stay away and that Jesse and I would be strong enough to defend against his interference.

And finally, please pray that I will have the boldness I need to clearly communicate the hope that I have been given.

I would be humbled and honored if you would pray these things for me. Thank you friends!

In Luke 5:1-11 Jesus is speaking to the crowd and asks Simon to take him away from shore so he could teach from the boat. After he has completed his teaching he asks Simon to drop his nets into the deep water for a catch. Simon replies, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything [In my head that reads: Really God, you want me to do that again? I’ve tried that a million times and it hasn’t worked]. But because you say so, I will let down the nets” (v. 5). I love the obedience of this verse. Even though I’ve ‘been there, done that’ I will follow your command. I’ll confess that some of my prayers, especially those of the microwave variety, are: “God why do I have to keep doing this over and over. Do it my way. Now. Because I say so.” Sad isn’t it?

Here’s what really made me pause. When Simon obeys Jesus he is blessed beyond his imagination. Verses 6 and 7 read, “When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in another boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.” Amazing! Belief, obedience, blessing: a very un-microwaved approach.

I strive for that level of belief and obedience in my walk. I also strive to receive a blessing the way Simon demonstrated in verse 8: “When SImon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, ‘Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” What a humbling response. So, here’s confession number two: If my approach to prayer sometimes resembles a microwave, my response to an answered prayer often resembles a slot machine. I pray (Come on lucky sevens!) and sometimes I hit the jackpot. Response: “Yee-ha, Jackpot!” Insert next request and pull the lever again.

I pray for the humility to fall on my knees in desperation and longing whenever I approach Him in prayer, knowing that I may not get the response I want in my time. And that’s ok. I also pray that I will develop the level of spiritual humility to fall on my knees when prayers are answered, with total gratitude for my undeserved gifts.

*Looking for some aspiring crock pots to worship with in the Detroit area or would you like to hear a podcast of this message? Check out The Woods at www.nazarene.org/

Tomorrow I should be reading Luke 6 and 7 but I really want to comment on Luke 5:17-26. So, I guess this is now a 41 Day study :)

P.S. This has nothing to do with anything but I had to share. When I did a Google image search for a picture of a slot machine it returned this: The Jack Potty (actual name!) available at many fine retailers including Walmart and Sears (no, this is not a joke). This is wrong on so many levels I had to share it! Discuss…

Now I’m ready to start talking, or blogging again and hope that you are ready to jump back in.

As I was writing the last post (and I mean literally as I was writing it) I was faced with some personal challenges that took me back to places that I thought were behind me. It has been a trip back that I haven’t wanted to take. I don’t think that it was coincidental that as I was writing about my need to shut my mouth and open my ears to God I was taken to these dark places. While I have had my ears open and blog turned off for the past five days I have not had any major, earth shattering revelations from God about my life or the world. What I have gained is some clarity of thought at a time when my head has been the foggiest.

During my past few days of listening I have given a lot of consideration to the passages for today’s post. As I listened and listened and listened some more, Matthew 16:13 – 20 have really spoken to me. Jesus and the disciples are in the middle of a whirl wind tour full of signs, wonders, prophesy and teaching. Despite all that they have seen and heard these guys still aren’t completely sure about what is going on in their little world or who this man Jesus really is.

In verse 13 Jesus asks them “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They reply that “Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” (v. 14). That’s a 21st Century answer if I’ve ever heard one!  Even with all the evidence of Christ people still insist that Jesus was a good moral leader, philosopher, or teacher. That Jesus represents nothing more than an important, religious, historical figure. A figure who may be relevant to some but for the majority is nothing more than a man, albeit a famous one. A man not unlike John, Elijah or Jeremiah.

Verses 15 and 16 is when my ears really tuned in. 15“But what about you?” he [Jesus] asked. “Who do you say I am?” 16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” In my adversity, when others are watching, during the times in my life when it really counts who do I say that he is? In all truth I say that he is the Christ but I behave as if he were someone less. Someone like John or Elijah or Jeremiah. I can fool myself into believing that I have control over my circumstances when I minimize the truth, that he is the Son of the Living God, and begin to limit him by viewing him as a spiritual advisor or a good, moral example. I limit him when he becomes an intellectual figure rather than a relational one.

Shut up and listen. As I struggled through a difficult weekend full of emotional highs and lows I spent a lot of time asking God to fill me with the truth of who he is. That I would begin to experience him for who he is, the Son of Man, the Living God. That he would speak to me in undeniable ways and I would respond by calling him Christ no matter the outcome of my trial.

I love the song ‘Jesus, Lover of My Soul’ and it has been stuck with me for days. The lyrics are my testimony. He has taken me through the clay, set me on on the rock, didn’t let me go. I love him and need him. Even if my world falls I will hold on and not let go. And when asked “Who do you say that I am?” I will respond “He is the lover of my soul, my Savior, my closest friend, the one I will worship until the end”.

As a footnote: For all of my dear friends who read this blog and have been praying for me these past few days, thank you. I am truly blessed. Thanks for praying and thanks for reading. It’s good to be back!