My (Almost) Father’s Day Post
I read a list of men’s and women’s top 10 fears somewhere (probably Cosmo or Glamour if I’m being honest), and it said that a man’s greatest fear is the fear of failure. The fear of being dependent on someone or needing help was number two, and not being a good husband/father/provider was number three.
This made total sense to me. The world, both secular and Christian, has created the perception that we (women) need men to be strong, UFC watching, wild at heart, alpha male providers. And it wouldn’t surprise me if this expectation stresses men out.
Where do we put this when God (either Himself or by angelic proxy) is constantly showing up saying, “Do not fear!”? How do we obey this when there is so much going on in our lives that half of the time we’re scared to death?
The Bible has some great things to say about perfect love driving out all fear (1 John 4:17). Men living in the shadow of fear, even when the fear is about important things, isn’t perfect love… it’s a perfect mess.
So, here’s my post-father’s day message for all of the husbands and dads:
It’s ok if you fail sometimes. There’s grace for that.
It’s ok for you to need help from other men. There’s strength in that.
And it’s ok if you go though a season of living from paycheck to paycheck. God makes provision for that.
Your ability to be a strong man/husband/father isn’t measured by how well you do “manly things” or how much you accomplish, It’s measured by how well you obey and how perfectly you love.
My father’s day gift to you is the often overlooked, yet vitally important Ephesians 5:28b. We all know that you guys are commanded to love us as Christ love the church. That’s some good stuff. But don’t forget the rest of the command, “He who loves his wife loves himself.”
Husbands: Love yourselves.
Of all the things you could do, or accomplish, or provide, or kill and drag home, love is what we need the most. Be a good husband/father/provider by loving God, loving your wife, and for heaven’s sake loving yourself.
P.S. Happy Father’s Day to my husband who is courageously learning to love himself more and fear less every day. I love you.
In my experience, it is horrendously difficult to love yourself when you keep yourself from others. I like to use my kids as an excuse to not get out and socialize with likewise believers. It’s easy to convince myself that I’m worthless when I do this.
On the flip side, when I’m actively engaged with these people, my esteem rises. An active support system is a must.
Although not required, I find it is easier to love yourself when you are surrounded by the love of others. We were never intended to be isolated. Isolation is dangerous. That being said, I know I must find away to love myself independent of what others think or feel about me.
This I know – I love the Wicks :-)
Great post. Glad I found you on twitter. Look forward to reading more and your blogs at XXXchurch.