Girls These Days
While I was on my blog hiatus, there were several news stories that I was dying to blog about! Montana Fishburne and her sex tape topped the list. Oh, Montana. Really?
The famous, now infamous, daughter of actor Lawrence Fishburne shocked everyone (including her Oscar-nominated father) with news that she was releasing the first adult video in what she hoped would be a series with Vivid Entertainment. Why? She was impressed with the way Kim Kardashian’s sex tape (which was leaked without her knowledge) launched her career, and she hoped hers would follow suit.
Seriously, can the child of Lawrence Fishburne feel she needs Vivid to help launch her career? Isn’t her father connected enough?
In follow-up interviews, Montana reveals that she began having a passionate desire to become a porn star when she was 16 and that she made her first home movie at 18. And her Twitter feed has been hopping with tweets such as:
Aw this little 13 year old girl came up to me talking about I’m her favorite celebrity and she is going to make a sex-tape when she turns 18
And…
It’s too late fools. Me and @ihatekatstacks are the next generation’s ROLE MODELS. You had your chance and decided to go to college smh hoes
I think it’s really easy to dismiss her comment about being a role model as craziness (and who is this 13-year-old girl!? Where is her mother!?). But really I have to wonder if this is what we’re coming to. Do today’s young ladies really want to be Kim and Paris because of their sex tapes? Does reality TV really have to cover shows about Playmates, the messed up family on Pretty Wild, or toddler pageant queens (and yes, they do belong on this list IMO)? Does it really have to be this difficult to find a skirt that covers my 7-year-old’s entire backside?
Here’s what I know for sure… our young girls need frequent, candid conversations about sex with adult women they can trust. The “sex” and “porn” talk isn’t just for boys anymore.
It is out of control. I read a statistic the other day saying that the next generation will more addicted to sex than the previous generation was to alcohol and drugs combined. That is a wholly scary thought.
This would have to include girls.
Culture has always taught our girls. Only, culture used to teach our them to be proper and to love her husband… we've swung the pendulum way too far the other way.
We have a huge responsibility as a church. We needn't focus so much on what is “normal” for girls to talk but begin to realize that just as we discuss sex with boys — we need to be having the same conversations with our girls. The one feeds into the other.
YES! Those toddler pageant queen shows do belong on that list. So disturbing.
I think it is getting out of control. It isn't just in this woman's head that being in porn will, if not further a career, at least get her in magazines and news stories and put her name out there. It seems to have become the new model for fame among young women.
I have a seven year old girl, and it is hard to find skirts for her….or shorts….and don't get me started on the padded bras and shirts that I saw in her section of the story the other day, in size 6/6x. There is no valid reason to buy one of those for your daughter. The sexualization of our children is getting more and more mainstream at younger and younger ages now.
I don't think Montana's comment about being a role model is crazy. It should be, but it isn't. To think that children don't see stories and articles about her is naive. I heard about this story on CNN, not even on an entertainment news show, in the main news cycle.
Sex tapes have gone mainstream now, the church can't hide and pretend it is going to just go away. We have to address this with our sons and daughters before other people get the chance to teach them that it is okay. A lot of it starts with what we, as parents, watch and read and allow in our homes….but it has to go further than that with honest, open conversations. We can't control everything they will see or hear, but we can prepare them, and teach them what is acceptable, what God's plan is concerning sex and their bodies and what they watch.
heart broken.
this is sad.
It is completely out of control. We're beginning to see this affect our kids recently, and at first, my husband was all “kids are kids, it's just what kids do, etc”, but within a few months, he realized what I'd been telling him all along. I don't care if that's what “all” the kids do — I don't want my kids to be like “all the other kids” when it comes to this stuff!!
I feel the same way!
I think so too. How did we get this far?
Me too.
Porn really has gone mainstream. That's just amazing to me.
That stat scares the crap out of me. I'm not surprised by it though.
A couple of years ago, I picked up a take-all bag of clothes for my preschool girl from Freecycle. Some of the stuff was cute, but I was flabbergasted when I pulled out a size 4T dress with SEXY in applique letters down the front. I do feel sick sometimes when I think about the messages my daughters are inundated with. You can't even avoid it at the grocery store.
You can see soft-core porn just walking in the mall – Abercrombie, Hollister, Victoria's Secret. My daughter is soooo offended by ads for bras. We have taken sexuality so mainstream, and then wonder why our kids want to participate. Why not? We make everything so attractive. I know mothers who were so shocked that I have already have “the talk” with my daughter, who is 10, but by letting her know that it is not a topic that I am afraid to discuss, we have had some great open talks.
I am not one to judge others based on their clothing, but there was a young lady in my church last Sunday wearing a tube top dress that I thought she was going to lose at any second. First, I was glad she was there, because she was obviously sitting with a friend, not her own parents, but then I thought, we as adult women role models HAVE to model modesty and explain WHY modesty is important, for our Christian brothers. Oh, I could go on and on. I think it comes from working in a junior high. Great topic!
What responsibility do we have as a church?
#1-Teach FATHERS how to love their daughters!!!!!
Yelling/or teaching from the pulpit about all the evils of sex is not the right thing to do.
We can't shield their eyes, tell them NO, make them wear clothes they don't like, tell them sex is bad, purity is in, tell them to be modest, keep them away from all TV, music, movies….and BOYS..!!.
We can't do it. Give them the facts yes, model modesty as a woman, show them that they should cherish their bodies and love themselves, yes. BUT…..It only works for a little while, till its time for them to test it alone……many tries backfire, because unless it is supported by a good family structure, it's just words , rules to be broken. If a girl feels worthless in any way, she is primed for reckless behavior.
I am sure this girl is crying out for her daddy. The attention and love she should have gotten from him has been replaced by things. Mr. Fishburne missed it here. Not only was he probably an ''absent'' Father that gave her stuff instead of time and true love..I am sure he didn't point her to the Father above either, that will love her, cherish her, and love her with an everlasting love.
Love that you included thoughts on fathers. They are so, so important.
You're such as awesome mom!
That dress makes me so sad. Ugh.
I LOVE your comment! Teaching girls to value themselves is teaching them a lifestyle and can only be truely done by living that lifestyle ourselves. Also, teaching father’s to love their daughters is SO HUGE!!! Girls will either search for a man who mirrors their father’s love or they will spend their lives filling the hole where that love should have been.