Get Real
Earlier in the year I had the opportunity to sit with Francois Driessen for a documentary he is directing about pornography called Scratching the Surface. The film is a series of interviews that explore the effects of pornography on the church. You can find more information and see raw cuts of the interviews on the Scratching the Surface website.
I just found out that my friend Crystal’s interview is now available (mine will be up later this year). I’m honored to serve on the board of directors for her non-profit, Dirty Girls Ministries. More than that I’m honored to be her friend. We talk a lot on this blog about being real and sharing our stories. I think this clip of Crystal sharing about her struggle with porn addiction is the epitome of what being real means. Yeah, I love this girl.
If you are interested in getting real and hearing more of my and Crystal’s stories, she and I will be speaking together in the Detroit area on September 25 (more details to come) and in Las Vegas at the Idea Camp on September 27 and 28. We would love to see you at either event!
Crystal Renaud from Scratching the Surface on Vimeo.
Like you said Nicole, more than being uber privileged to serve alongside Crystal, you and the other amazing board members & supporters of Dirty Girls, it's a greater privilege to be friends; friends who've encouraged me in telling my own story of homosexuality.
A new friend here in Northern Ireland reminded me that the church needs these stories to be told, the challenge is presenting them in a way that always glorifies God, acknowledges but never glorifies our depravity, and is sensitive to the audience – which can be tempting to overlook, though it really can't be if we're going to be effective as Paul reminded us often in his letters. Crystal does this so well
I think the church is getting better, through the efforts of a few…but it has a long way to go before it gets better in the “big C” Church as opposed to select “small c” churches.
Crystal is a great example of someone who's taken the pain of their past and turned it around for the glory of God. She is fantastic and it's an honor to be able to support her and her ministry.
appreciate you.
I don't have the right words right now to say how powerful this is and how grateful I am that Crystal shared her story.
God bless.
It's an amazing testimony isn't it?
I appreciate you and your heart for al of this stuff so much. Thanks friend!
Your new friend sounds very wise :)
For the most part I think the church still is really uncomfortable dealing with anything to do with sexuality. When I used to work at churches sexuality was such a huge issue for so many of the people who came in to talk to me. A lot of them didn't want to talk to the pastors because they didn't want their business broadcast around the church. I love what Crystal is doing. I talked to tons of women who were struggling with porn addiction once the internet made it so easily accessable. They also struggled with all sorts of other things incuding hyper-sexuality, and a lot of sexual disfunction related to abuse etc. A lot of women were also struggling with not being comfortable with things their husbands wanted them to participate in. I think the church needs to be a place where people can get help and talk about whats really going on in our lives. I think the church needs to get real about dealing with stuff like emotional affairs, online relationships. I think we also need to be aware that in most churches there are people who are there each week who are living with someone they aren't married to or who are in gay relationships and have a hunger to get to know God. I really believe that church should be a place where people can come and be free to share who they really are… that we can come out of our common need and together find healing and mercy and forgiveness. The more each of us are willing to share our stories and own our stories, the more it will help create an environment were that freedom can happen.
i love that this topic is all over the blogosphere this week… Justin Davis (@justindavis33) from Crosspoint was heartbroken yesterday over the fact that the church doesn't have a lot of resources to help people struggling w/addictions like this, my other friend Jason posted about it, I am doing two weeks of guest posts (Man Week) at my blog of which a few of them talk about this …
I just really think we are seeing God's heart to reach out to those caught in the throes of porn addiction and I love that so many folks are speaking up about it :)
Nicole – Justin tweeted this yesterday “justindavis33 I wish The Church would initiate conversation abt porn…I'm talking to Christian guys daily who struggle and feel they have no where to go” and jason wert (below) has been talking about it on his site. Tal Prince is actually guest posting at my site today where he is sharing his struggle w/porn: http://jennyrain.com/2010/07/27/man-week-the-ra... and Traylor Lovorrn is posting next week on his struggle. They both have a ministry called Route 1520 (http://www.route1520.com/) and Rethink Naked (http://www.rethinknaked.com) hope that gives you some resources :)
Love Crystal – her story is SO powerful :)
This is such a powerful story. It is also a powerful message for my family as we have a daughter who is ten going on 11. She likes to sew and fantasize that she will own a horse someday. I can't imagine her feeling like her emotional outlet would need to be something so distant. I was reading the guest post on Jenny's blog as well and Tal talks about being exposed to porn at 8. Well my son is 9. I have been impressed that these are important years for I have an 8,9, 10 year old and a 17 year old niece in my household. I think any time we can blow the smoke screen away from shame it is vital. What is in the dark needs to have the light shine brightly. Here are some other issues I feel like the church needs to get “real” on: Being a woman leader. The way that men genuinely struggle with strong women. Being in ministry and not being perfect. What being “on fire” for Jesus really looks like- it is not about joining a bunch of programming or reading the right book. How we all feel inadequate but are desperately trying to pretend that we are adequate. True struggles in ministry. The loneliness there. Marriage is hard. Really openly and candidly without formulas being able to talk about anything. Why do we try to organize every discussion into a program?
Thanks you ladies for sharing your stories and being willing to just put yourselves out there!
“A lot of them didn't want to talk to the pastors because they didn't want their business broadcast around the church.” That line makes me so sad…
Thanks for pointing out the tweet. I may have to respond to it with a post :) Love Jason, Tal, and Tray. They're a great group of guys :)
Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate it!
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