Tough Questions: Rating Sin
Confession: Monday night I had the most filthy, dirty, pornographic dream about bread. Garlic bread, to be exact. Five large, warm, fluffy, cheesy garlic breadsticks with butter dipping sauce. It tasted so amazing I actually woke up drooling. Honestly, it was the closest I’ll ever get to a wet dream.
I. Am. Sick.
And I love bread.
I wrote a post about a month ago for POTSC about the sin of being fat. The encouragement and support that I received was tremendous. I also just recently shared via Twitter that I am taking my weight back and have launched into a healthy eating regime complete with nutrition, exercise, and accountability. Again, tremendous support. So with that in mind, my first question in the “Tough Questions for Christians” series is:
Is gluttony a less serious sin than others? Or more to the point, is there an unwritten Christian point system for sin?
I recently saw this quote that Kelly Osbourne gave in a magazine interview about her post-Dancing With the Stars weight loss: “I took more hell for being fat than I did for being a raging drug addict.”
I can identify with what she’s saying. Being fat in the secular world is a major issue, especially for women. But I think that the opposite situation is happening in the church.
I talk a lot about addiction on this site and on my XXXChurch blog. One of the common themes is shame. I encounter people all the time who are afraid to share the truth about their addictions because they are ashamed of their sin. Even worse, they are afraid to share their struggles with people in the church for fear of how they will be treated. This is especially true if the addiction is related to sex or sexuality. It breaks my heart to read all of the emails and comments I receive about how much easier it is to keep hiding the addiction than to confess it to another person.
And, let’s face it… being secretly addicted to internet porn, or even worse in the unwritten point system, gay porn (gasp!) is way easier to hide than being 100 pounds overweight.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about sexuality. I was expressing my concern (I’m putting this very mildly) with the way in the church treats the GLBTG community. My argument is that I am obviously an unhealthy weight for my body and have struggled with my weight for many, many years. It is also obvious that I am actively engaged in the sin. Despite that, unlike many members of the GLBTG community, I have never been denied opportunities to serve in the church, or even to lead. And I have most certainly never been denied membership due to my weight, or told that I couldn’t become a member until I achieved a healthy BMI. While I truly appreciate the grace, I wonder if this is fair.
oh friend, this is amazing. love that you are doing this…that you are speaking up. im proud of you, nicole!
“While I truly appreciate the grace, I wonder if this is fair”
to be honest…no, it isnt fair. at some point we have pushed Gods word aside and put a rating system on sin according to what makes us the most uncomfortable. no, that isnt fair. it tells the ‘unwanted’ the ‘shunned’ the ‘ill equipped’ (in our eyes) that there is no hope.
that is not grace-filled or loving.
i love you friend.
Awesome post! I’ve seen the church’s point system in action. It confuses me and gets me frustrated at the same time. Great post today!! Love your openess.
Be blessed!
Karen
this is a powerful post, my friend. as someone who has battled addiction, i can fully understand where food has also been an addiction. where being fat even, has been an addiction. and a sin.
i don’t believe the grace is fair. you are so right on about the rating system. i saw this happening on Carlos’ blog last week.
sin is sin. i believe all sin is equal. but different sins also have varying degrees of consequences, but who decides those consequences and why, is still confusing to me. the Bible is clear in some areas, and vague in others.
we may never get it right, but let’s not stop trying.
I agree with Crystal…that is a powerful post. As someone who was thrown out of ministry because of my sex and porn addiction, I know all too well the way many within the church hold those kinds of sins as being worse than many others.
The issue to me isn’t necessarily how you phrased the question. The hypocrisy of some calling out one sin while ignoring another doesn’t mean either sin is acceptable. I see a lot of confusion on the part of people equating grace with ignoring sin. Showing grace isn’t about throwing away God’s standards, either. It was right for them to remove me from leadership because of addiction to porn and sex. Sure, I may not have been shown much grace from those around me in terms of helping me learn to resist temptation…but that doesn’t mean removal from ministry wasn’t the right thing to do in terms of the standards God has for those in positions of leadership.
I guess I think this issue is deeper than “do we have more grace for X than Y.” :)
Wow Nicole. You’ve uncovered and addressed something really important here and your very real and personal insight is amazing.
I’ve never thought about the differences you’ve addressed but they are SO there. Grace? Truth? There can’t be one without the other and yet so much grace gets given over to certain sins where truth is withheld while at the same time other sins are wrapped up only in truth with no grace given.
Where’s the balance in that?
I think a lot of our attitudes toward different “sins” are culturally constructed. For example, there was a time in Western history when lending money at interest was grounds for excommunication. Now our whole economy is built on it.
The consequences of some sins seem to come more quickly or more dramatically, like the drug addict who OD’s and dies at age 24. A sin like greed might not be as spectacular, but think of all those stockbrokers jumping out of windows in October 1929. The wages of sin is always death; we just don’t always see that as clearly.
You don’t have to be overweight to be a glutton, either. I weigh 150 lbs. Last night I ate most of a large bag of tortilla chips and about 5 peanut butter cookies. I ate until my tummy hurt. Am I less of an overeater just because I happen to have a metabolism that burns it up before it turns to fat? Hardly.
This topic interests me a lot. Mainly because churches pay so much attention and time on certain sins that others just slip by. Actually, sometimes they focus on things that are not even sin and let other things go on. For example, I’ve always been a bit of a rebel in some areas, my music, my piercings, tattoos and other things were condemned more in my church than people in leadership who had serious issues like gossip, pride, adultery and such.
For me, sin is sin. Yes, they may have different consequences but it’s still sin. Saying a lie is as much of a sin as cussing someone out or having sex with someone outside of marriage.
For me, what really matters here is to not just downplay it but remember that all of us, no matter our sin, are in desperate need of redemption and cleansing, and this has been done by Christ on the cross.
You really do make a good point when it comes to the picking-and-choosing of sins to focus on, and that is something we must all be very careful of given how common it is. However, there is a difference between your situation and that of perhaps some of your GLBTG friends, in that you confess that gluttony is a sin and so struggle to control and resist it. I am sure that you would be seen somewhat differently were you to proudly declare that there is nothing wrong with being gluttonous and God made you a glutton by nature, and hence that you are entirely happy with the idea of succumbing to that gluttony. The important point is that no Christian is sinless, yet we reject sin and fight against it by repenting and seeking forgiveness in the work of Christ. Sure, some turn away from some sins more effectively than others, yet that suffices provided we have that will to turn away in repentance, for we cannot honestly say we love God and have faith in Christ if we persist in insisting that continued sin is a desirable and acceptable behaviour.
Girl, you are right on with this one. Thanks to His grace and mercy for covering a multitude of sins…you don’t have to be overweight to have food sins – binging and purging, which is something that I have struggled with in the past is one of those “dirly little secrets” that we BPD’s keep hidden. But we are overcomers through Christ….who gives us strength. I discipline myself every day in the Word as well as the gym…and healthy eating has become a way of life for me…so if you ever need some accountability just DM me on Twitter – @ChurchGirlNxtDr
….love how you write it like it is!….appreciate that a bunch!