The Real Me: POTSC Repost
I few weeks ago Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite were gracious enough to let me guest post on their awesome site. I was honored to share this post with the People of the Second Chance community.
A few weeks ago when everyone was showing off their #RealMe on Facebook and Twitter I quietly looked the other way and kept my lovely, professionally shot, and photoshopped profile picture up. The idea of showing my face first thing in the morning, free of make up and hair product didn’t bother me. It isn’t a sin to look tired, or plain, or blotchy. It isn’t even a sin to be ugly.
However, it is a sin to be fat.
And that’s me. I’ve struggled with my weight for years, as long as I can remember really. I grew up on my mom’s southern cooking; fried meats, sweet tea, and home made mac and cheese. I was always able to keep it somewhat under control… that is until I got pregnant. Women? Do you hear me on this one? Yeah, I thought so.
Anyhow, in addition to carrying around 25 extra pounds of post-delivery baby weight I also fell into a part postpartum/part dealing with my husbands porn addiction depression. A deep depression that I attempted to cure the old fashioned way: with food. The ooey, gooey comfort foods I grew up on. And as I “coped” the 25 pounds became 100. Yikes.
So, that’s the #RealMe. And I hate it. As I struggle to eat the right things, exercise, and avoid treating depression with ice cream I need a second chance. A second chance from people who make jokes, or assumptions, or judgements.
But, seriously, more than that I need to give myself a second chance. I need to get ok with me. The #RealMe. I have what sometimes seems like an infinite capacity to show grace to others. No matter what they have done. But I have an incredibly difficult time showing that grace to myself. And I know that I’m not the only one.
This is my second chance.
Good for you! I love when people are real. That was my mantra all of last year. I too have struggled with my weight for the past few years. I love health, nutrition, and exercise, but I couldn’t manage my emotional eating to save my life. And by emotional I mean: happy, sad, lonely, bored excited, content…you name the emotion I was probably eating. I’ve recently found a weight loss system that is working for me, and I can honestly say I have not let any food pass my lips in response to an emotion for past 10 weeks, and my hubby, bibledude keeps me at checkmate on that! Keep up the great attitude and thanks for being so Real…Nicole in Real Life Rocks!
i love you whether you’re fat or skinny. it’s your heart that matters… but you’re partially right. YOUR HEALTH MATTERS.
so, i’m praying for you. for your weight… not because you’re not beautiful… but because i want you to be around for a LONG LONG time.
love you, dear friend. thank you for being willing to share the REAL you here.
I just found your blog the other day and LOVE it!!! This post is one I can totally relate to as I am significantly overweight at only 30 years old. Thank you so much for your willingness to be real on here. And for reminding us to give ourselves a second chance. You ROCK!