I believe that those are solid foundations that should not be messed with. In addition, I think that God gives different wives different convictions for their husband and marriage. They are all of course Biblically based. I do things for my husband that God has made heavy on my heart that He hasn’t for other women.

But I think regardless a good wife comes down to those first two things I mentioned.

And the Prov 31 wife…it has been reported that she had servants! I want one!!!

I’ve been a working wife and mom for five and a half years, and now that I’m at home I would LOVE to be able to make the house a haven for my husband–and for me and my child!

However, even having one toddler is very challenging and requires a lot of running around after her and not a whole lot of cleaning.

I try to be a helpmate to my husband by listening to him, respecting him and submitting to his decisions, serving him by not complaining about the housework or child-rearing (…most of the time), and being patient. Sure, I don’t always meet those goals. But I try!

Jessie

Want a good mate? BE a good mate.

You can do A-Z but have to force your self to do it and live to regret it.

Be your self!

The more I love Jesus, the more I love my wife. The more I love my wife, the more I love Jesus!

It’s pretty simple.

He laid down His life for me, I lay down my life for her!

First … this article. I don’t think it relates to today, because very few marriages are so cut and dry these days. And the parts about speaking in a low soft voice, taking his shoes off and making the evening his … maybe sometimes, but maybe sometimes I need that. Isn’t marriage all about give and take – not one person being king and the other a slave?

Second … your question. Good question. What I aim for are the wise words of Jesus, “Love God with all my heart/soul/mind and love my neighbor as myself.” If I do that, I think that covers being the best wife I can be. Loving myself involves taking care of myself and whatever else is my responsibility, so that would make me a good wife. And no one is a closer neighbor than my husband, so if I love him as I love myself things should be good. (our marriage changed the day I realized that if I don’t like/love me, how can I like/love him?)

Third … Vincent, your point? I’ve never felt pressure to keep up with these verses in the literal sense of it. My reasons? A mixed bag of … there aren’t duplicate verses for men and I don’t think God plays favorites. Or because I see these verses as being for both men and women … we should both do all we can to keep our families/households running smoothly.

Well, I have to say…push aside all the stuff that separates the 1950′s from the 2010′s and you are left with a basic principle: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others”

For me, it goes back to what I like to call “form and function.” The function are those things that are indisputable in Scripture– Biblical mandates that are ageless, culture-less and absolute. Form is the way function is expressed culturally and generationally through the ages of time. In the 1950′s, a man expressed care for his family by working hard outside the home, and the woman expressed care for her family by working hard inside the home. Today, we have different forms, but the function remains: in humility we are to consider others better than ourselves. Yes, Nicole, that defines women’s roles in our culture today; that is not a cultural mandate, but rather God’s timeless truth.

If having a warm supper on the table, the house picked up and the children clean speaks love to our spouse, then we should unselfishly do those things. Love always requires a degree (or many degrees) of selflessness. It doesn’t hurt us or humble ourselves to do this, and it is not our place to specify what those actions should be for others. We are simply to live our lives as women, as men, as wives, as husbands, as mothers and fathers, and sons and daughters in humility, considering others better than ourselves and looking not only to our own interests (no sin there), but also to the interests of others.

For our family, more specifically for me, it means creating an atmosphere of order for Andy. He loves order. (Good grief, the man LIVES for it!!!!) As a young wife at home with children, I learned to pick up the toys and throw them into a big basket as Andy’s car pulled into the driveway. It was admittedly an illusion of order, but it gave Andy a sense of “all is well with the world” as he walked in the door. I still do a quick pick up before he comes home (most days), but now I have the good fortune of a work force (ie, children) to do the lion’s share of that. Still, for us that is “form”.

I personally love this article–I’ve read it before–because it defines the importance of considering the needs of others. It’s funny in the parts that are dated, but still speaks truth to us as women and wives in 2010.

And that’s all I have to say about that. [sheepish grin]